The rise and fall...

In fury and calmness,

between maneuvered paths and smooth touch downs, 

among races - wins and defeats,

being magnificent and disreputable, 

providing and providing more,

there's few sitting across each day that realize - soon I may be no more!

Picture: Big Sur, CA

The wide skies to conquer?

When the sun was glowing bright on me, there was a warm breeze, there was a calmness,  

when the sun was hidden behind the massive white clouds, the cool breeze, there are sign of chaos,  

when the sun was sinking behind the mountains, the chills sank in, and the wind played a soulful, yet a confusing rhythm.

The sunshine, the weather, the wind - constant was nothing,

methods to steer through the conditions were not constant, my determination was, 

horizons of my reach were not constant, my inspiration was,

the grounds I have explored and have yet to explore are not constant, but wait...

why is the child I see below always constant? 

Picture: Rancho San Antonio Airplane Flying Zone, CA

Empty is the new FULL!

We were there. There was a crack. I dint hold on. You found another hand each time. My hand remains empty. I learnt to believe empty is the new full!

Is there anything that is truly unconditional?

People say love is unconditional. But is it really so? Yes, gifts and surprises are not necessary, but how can you love a person who does not want to even see you?

You need someone to respond to you if you are talking, you need someone to argue when you are not happy with a decision, you need someone to hug when your hands are wide open and you do need someone to reciprocate the love you give so that the love can grow stronger. So how exactly is love unconditional?

So we actually do love people because they love us and love is the best thing we can return?

Who ever said physical appearance dont matter!

The mirror cracked. Eyes starred as I walked home.

My roommate: “It’s not that bad. I know it might be hard in India but people aboard would show a more positive attitude.”

I run into my room, shut the door, cover my head with a blanket and sleep off; hoping all of it was a nightmare.

Next morning, tears roll down my cheeks as I brush. I wish there were no mirrors around me.

Office was the last place I wanted to go, but I had to be more audacious. I reach office.

Colleague 1: “How? When? Why?”

Colleague 2: “I know it was not in your hands. Just let it go.”

Colleague 3: Has a disgusted look but talks of the fine day; looking away from my face every 2 minutes.

Colleague 4: Passes by as if I were a different person.

I hurry to my cubicle and hoped there was no meeting.
(damn the fring hair cut!!! ;))

Does a TRY count?

I stayed up all night and TRIED to finish the piece of work you had assigned to me, but I could not finish on time.

Thought: Maybe one day isn’t really enough.

I TRIED so hard to study that concept, but it’s just not in me. I think I’m better suited for Engineering.

Thought: Really?

I TRIED my best to learn the chores of the house, but I think it’s just not in me.

Thought: My best??

I TRIED living happily everyday, but life is so complicated that I have to accept it the way life comes to me.

Thought: Yup that’s the solution!!

I TRIED to impress her, but I guess I’m not her types.

Thought: Do you really like her?

I had read this a couple of days ago: “You haven’t failed until you have stopped trying.”
You hear these sentence everyday. We use “TRIED” so often that “TRY”, “TRYING” and “WILL TRY” have lost their value. Make a “TRY” count.

The misery of ‘ONE’?

There are a lot of people who are scared of ending up lonely. Well, frankly even I was one of them. One of my worst fears was of being alone for the rest of my life.

Well a lot has changed, and single is not that bad. It is definitely not impossible. After all, there is always an allowance for a singleton tag (I apologize for the nerdy thoughtJ). I was just trying to say that there needn’t be someone to complete you; you can most definitely have a beautiful single life.

I would not have written this post if I did not experience both sides. I used to enjoy having company all the time, having blasts on my birthdays with cakes and gifts, having someone to share a whole days experience, having someone to hear out my worries...….Well it didn’t last as long as I expected. The first few days were terrible. I cried for hours. I kept myself occupied. I suppressed my thoughts and my actions. Then suddenly, it became a part of who I am. I liked it this way. I guess people would categorize this as ‘learning to live’. Well, that’s why I said it’s not impossible.

Note: Not divorced, No tragic incidents, No bf problems, Not depressed in life, Not a maniac:-D (Just wanted to think of life from another’s perspective)!